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Epic tong blog site na 'to. Hindi ko to buburahin, para after ten years at malungkot ako, pwede ko tong puntahan, at tignan ang mga old  posts ko. Laftrip siguro pag ganun. So, I decided to share portions of my diary here. Well, its not really a diary where I write what I did the whole day and stuff. Its more like a ranting notebook with lots of scribbles and doodles and nonesense talking. Well syempre ishe-share ko lang yung may sense. HAHA.

And I would like to update this every now and then. ;)

I would probably start copying things tomorrow. :)

~

And I cant even concentrate now.

Wala kong maisip iblog. Naiwan ko yung diary ko sa dorm. Wala akong mapaghugutan ng emosyon. Ang init ko pa, lagnat, yes. At oo, I have chickenpox as of now. 2011 started with BVs. First off, I got my first real job ever, and that is to converse with Koreans, and I had to quit coz Im sick. How bad is that? :| Second, I FEEL SO BAD COZ IM SUPER LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEK. As in sovra. Got a lot of projects and activities to do, but again, I have to be on MIA. :| Third, I feel like something's trying to crush my head and I hate myself coz Ima a super bum. ARGGGGHHH. And last, NO ICANT PUT IT HERE. :| :))


Diary, can you travel alone from LB back to me? I miss writing. And I miss that feeling where I can just say or write things and care less on who might read it.


UPDATE: Im taking 4 meds now. And I got a lot rashes on my face. :( YES< FACE. WHYYY.


Err, anyway, this blog's probably not a secret anymore. And Im not even planning to close this. Enjoy reading, anon. :)




Goodnight.

Do happy people cry?

The bestfriend dedicated this song to me.

Oh, Im in tears.

Hazy by Rosi Golan

I watched you sleepin' quietly in my bed

You don't know this now but 

There's somethings that need to be said

And it's all that I can hear

It's more than I can bear

What if I fall and hurt myself

Would you know how to fix me?

What if went and lost myself

Would you know where to find me?

If forgot who I am 

Would you please remind me?

Oh, cause without you things go hazy.

(Ah's)

I watched you sleepin' quietly in my bed

You don't know this now but 

There's somethings that need to be said

It's all that I can hear

It's more than I can bear

What if I fall and hurt myself

Would you know how to fix me?

What if I went and lost myself

Would you know where to find me?

If I forgot who I am

Would you please remind me?

Oh, cause without you things go hazy.

(Ah's)

What if I fall and hurt myself

Would you know how to fix me?

What if went and lost myself

Would you know where to find me?

If I forgot who I am

Would you please remind me?

Oh, cause without you things go hazy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sakto diba.

I miss and love you, Budz. >:D<

It's five o'clock in the morning & my eyes are still wide open.

I really had no intentions to write something at this moment. Maybe because Im happy? Nah, happy people have a lot of things to say. I got this freaking mixed feelings tonight. Too much coffee, i think. But yeah, I think I just needed something to blurt this feeling out.


I hope I'll make sense this time. If not, I'd still publish this. Yay for the shiz.


"How are you?"
Answering a question like this requires a lot of reflection and honesty. That is why a lot of people would mostly answer, "I'm fine". Not because they want to lie, but maybe because they themselves hadn't found the answer to the question. That is what I hate about people. They lie to hide their stupidity. They lie just so they have something good to say.


And why the hell am I talking deep about a very common phrase? I don't know either. :)) HAHA.


ARRRGH. My mind won't speak. And my heart won't tell. AND IM SO EMO, WTF. =))












'Kay fine. Let's do this.


2010 is freaking weird.


I decided to enter a new world. I was on a place where I knew no one, and I had to do things on my own. I decided to do this so I would taste a different life. A life far from what I was used to. Far from the overprotectiveness of many people. Far from the people that I used to love. And most importantly, far from that man who broke my heart into a million pieces. At first, I was praying that God would renew me and free me from the bondage of the past. And that He would let me live and experience many new people and many exciting things. And He  did. God granted me my prayers. Little did I know that He still has something in store for me. I met these awesome ladies who helped me find my lost pieces. I met people who teached me things that are new to me. And I met another man that, again, broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. My heart's not ready to narrate the whole story now. I was deeply hurt, that even the word "pain" is not enough to describe how I felt. I needed a lot of metaphors to describe it. OA as it may appear, but my heart is crushed every freaking blank moment that gives me a memory of him and his face. I was not angry at him. I love him. It maybe too soon to say that, but I am confident and sure. But that's it. There came a time when I was so mad at myself for being too irresponsible. I blame myself for the little decisions that I carelessly made that drew myself in this intense grief. I had a lot of what-ifs and if-onlys. Then I realized that none of them can pull me out of this situation. And I have to be strong. Stand still. And not make my friends worry about me.


Today, I am happy. I am breathing properly now. My heart's at stable condition. I want the world to know that I am starting to free myself from the jerk's spell. Christmas vacation totally helped me in dealing with this. In just a matter of hours, the Earth will revolve after 365.25 days, and it is also a perfect time for me to grow up and be more firm this time. I learned that pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice.


I'm still not that completely okay. But time heals all wounds. I have never been mad at anybody, and forgiveness is all over me. Haha!


Others change.
I also have to.




Goodnight.

4AM Shiz.

Ayokong i-publish yung iba kong nabuong posts.

Masyadong hubad ang mga salita, nakakatakot ang mga letra. Baka kapag hindi ko napigilan, ako pa magmukhang kawawa. Pero sige, para masaya, ipu-publish ko. Pero, saka na. Ie-edit ko muna ng kaunti.

May bagong fliptop videos.

At na-aadik na ko sa Tasty Planet.

Oh crap, Im being a bummer again.

Ktnxbai.

Bum days.

Sleeps at 4am.

Wakes up at 1pm.

Read. Eat. Read. Eat.

Sarap buhay ah! =))

Happiness

I love you, UPLB ComArts Soc! <3